The drudgeries of life
Friday, April 14, 2006
The life cycle
Ever since I can remember, I've been struggling to make up my mind about things... simple things, complicated things, things which matter, and even things which don't. There has never been an easy way out, not for me at least. Just when it seems I'm gonna get a break from the rigorous decision-making that life is all about, somebody is there or something happens in order to ensure that my mind keeps vacillating! It's useless to state examples and try to analyze them... they're too many of the same.
There are times when I feel lost in the wilderness that life is... every now and then I seem to be venturing into unchartered territory. One day everything is fine, everything's going your way! Voila! In a jiffy, it seems like you've take a wrong turn and before you can turn back and get back on track, you're out of fuel! I have no idea how this comes to happen, but somehow everytime I have a bad dream, the gist of which I usually don't remember on getting up, it's effect haunts me throughout the day. As if nightmares aren't enough, daymares have added to the misery! Sometimes I'm just plain and simple fed up with life! But then, just when I'm on the brink of giving up and accepting defeat, there's a glimmer of hope. People around me, unknown to them, instil in me the confidence to keep moving on and accept things as they come. and thus, the never-ending circle of life goes on and on.
As an afterthought, I probably underestimate myself when it comes to my acting skills... no one would be able to tell the difference between the normal me and the me on bad days, except on a few really very bad days ofcourse! I guess it's the same case with many others, who knows maybe everyone! Maybe...
It's kinda strange but I notice an uncanny resemblance between myself and Kevin Arnold's character in the TV series The Wonder Years! The only catch is that he was a full-blooded teenager in the series and I, on the other hand, will be all of 22 this October! Boy, do I feel old or what?
Don't know what got into me today! Probably the frustration of being a sluggard when it came to working on my project, maybe the excessive usage of the romantic French language(Urgh!) that I've been subjected to in the past 2 weeks, might be the thought of having to fast the whole day, today being Good Friday and all, or who knows the recurring thought of having to venture out into the big, bad world in a couple of months. Whatever the reason, it is at moments like these that I get the feeling that realization has dawned, only to realize later that there is much more to be realized...;)
There are times when I feel lost in the wilderness that life is... every now and then I seem to be venturing into unchartered territory. One day everything is fine, everything's going your way! Voila! In a jiffy, it seems like you've take a wrong turn and before you can turn back and get back on track, you're out of fuel! I have no idea how this comes to happen, but somehow everytime I have a bad dream, the gist of which I usually don't remember on getting up, it's effect haunts me throughout the day. As if nightmares aren't enough, daymares have added to the misery! Sometimes I'm just plain and simple fed up with life! But then, just when I'm on the brink of giving up and accepting defeat, there's a glimmer of hope. People around me, unknown to them, instil in me the confidence to keep moving on and accept things as they come. and thus, the never-ending circle of life goes on and on.
As an afterthought, I probably underestimate myself when it comes to my acting skills... no one would be able to tell the difference between the normal me and the me on bad days, except on a few really very bad days ofcourse! I guess it's the same case with many others, who knows maybe everyone! Maybe...
It's kinda strange but I notice an uncanny resemblance between myself and Kevin Arnold's character in the TV series The Wonder Years! The only catch is that he was a full-blooded teenager in the series and I, on the other hand, will be all of 22 this October! Boy, do I feel old or what?
Don't know what got into me today! Probably the frustration of being a sluggard when it came to working on my project, maybe the excessive usage of the romantic French language(Urgh!) that I've been subjected to in the past 2 weeks, might be the thought of having to fast the whole day, today being Good Friday and all, or who knows the recurring thought of having to venture out into the big, bad world in a couple of months. Whatever the reason, it is at moments like these that I get the feeling that realization has dawned, only to realize later that there is much more to be realized...;)
13 Comments:
n1 n1 steve...
u see wonder years was a ragin hit cos it struck a chord wid evryone...it sure tends to linger long after its over..
as for the real u on bad days..i'd say i ight have gotta sneak peek during the sen project[;)]....and cmin to the project....if M knows us he might as well pass us..hehehe
Hey Steve...
Buddy! You r down, tho am online anytime. Temme wht can I do?! :)
Some days so tht 2 u, but men of matter carry on gloriously my frnd, n am sure u ll do tht too...
hug from me too.. a big hug ..lol.. u down?? come on messenger, go for a movie.. arey BI-2, get some motivation.. and get back 2 work?? well work reminds me of ur BTP partner.. how much work u take from him.. misuse of power :)
Realization dawns finally!Life is a nested loop of ifs and elses, just make it a bit more optimized. :D
Easier said than done!!
PS-Please increase the font size!!
do not ponder on such banalities dude they will come n u will do wht u hv to do...n hey acting ..I can act pretty well too ;)...
there are days when one feels low. My way to bring my spirit out of doldrums is to read funtoosh.com. Try that sometimes. Some of the jokes there will make you laugh however much sad you may be. And once you laugh that mood does get a lift.
But truly, this decision making has become one hell of a responsibility, even when we are just 22. If this is the situation now, I wonder what would happen when we will be supposed to take decisions not only for ourselves but also for our family and our organisations!! I am scared!! And so here I go to read funtoosh to cheer myself up! :))
Happy good friday, belated!
i just believe all that happens, happens for good...
hope you get over your nightmares...:)
nice to see you back in action...don't let all this bother you man...believe me you are made for something really big...go kick some ass!
@sriram
u're right abt twy, mate! it stays with u! the me on bad days is quite different from the me on really very bad days;)! u're yet to see that! hopefully the btp might give me the golden opportunity to reveal my true self:P!
@isha
why is that everyone who wants to give me a hug is sooo far away:(?! i sure feel very depressed when i oversleep and that spoils my whole day! and yeah! felt better after reading ur comment! thanks... but can i have the ticket to nz too;)?!
@naresh
thanks be! just one of those days when u feel so frustrated with everything! nothing serious! and u know that if i let anyone in on it, it'll be u:)!
@sameer dvd :D
thanks for the hug! lol! a temporary phase of feeling depressed. that has passed. and from now on, no misuse of muscle power in getting lazy btp partners to work;)! trying to help out myself!
@amod
u and ur logic:P! and font size was kept small intentionaly! sorry for the inconvenience caused!
@morey
yeah man! u r a pretty good actor! tres bien is what i have to say:P!
@vivek
hehe! funtoosh.com! i used to spend the whole day reading jokes there when there was nothing like orkuting n blogging!
the future scares me! i prefer remaining lost in my world of nostalgia;)!
@anubhav
thanks man! i too believe in that saying "everything happens for the best"! things do work out...
@debanshu
welcome back dude! thanks mate! hehe! u guys really seem concerned! i was just feeling down in the dumps for a while, nothing to worry abt.
1 AND A HALF MONTHS and no new posts!! :O
yeah, we demand new posts!!!
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