The drudgeries of life
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
The art of envying the right people
I'm sure it's due time I relinquished bragging about all my infatuations and became a bit sober! So, here you go! This post is dedicated to anyone and everyone who has been envied by me for some reason or the other!
When I was in the second standard, even before I was acquainted with the term jealousy, let alone envy, I remember my Mom taking great pains and teaching me Maths lessons late into the night and being the dullard that I was, I was never able to keep up with her pace! I still clearly remember the words that she used to utter out of frustration:
"How many times will I have to explain the same simple problem for you to understand it? See Elitriya (She was a kid in my neighbourhood, a year younger to me! Pathetic *Yuck). She always solves all her problems so fast and always tops in her class (which ofcourse was a rarity as far as I was concerned!). When will you change, Appu (Yup! That's my pet name 8)!)??"
That was probably one of the first instances when I realized that I desperately sought to be in other peoples' shoes! Be it for the cool school bags they possessed, for the lunch boxes they brought along to school, for their moms being simple housewives whom they could find at home each day after returning from school while my mom being a working woman and myself reaching home everyday to find the gates locked that I had to open, or for their good grades in school which seemed to impress my mom more than anything I had managed to score!
Probably most of my childhood was spent envying other children, most importantly my younger sister who's seven years younger to me! After being the apple of my parent's eyes for a long long time, all the love and attention suddenly being diverted to this queer little thing made me feel real lonely! How jealous I was at that time of my sibling, I know! It must've been way too obvious because I soon found myself being lectured by my parents about not to be jealous and that I'm still loved the same as before if not more! Yeah right you guys! Then why does it feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart and not loved anymore and only that... that thing is the center of your worlds?!
That phase passes! Somehow!! I'm in ninth standard! Till the eight, I was not at all interested in studies! The constant comparisions had finally taken their toll! I had lost all hope of excelling in studies! My parents were very bothered about me and my future! A chance encounter with one of my bestest friends till date ( The encounter not unlike the one about which I posted a couple of messages back was a really humorous one! I'll post about it in a week or so!), Nupur, was a new ray of hope! The girl is excellent in everything! She is an excellent student, has a brilliant handwriting (Mamamia! I'd die for such a beautiful way of writing!), has excellent elocutionary skills, and her dad worked in the same bank as my mom! Yeah I know! The ideal specimen for my mom to compare me with and the perfect person for me to envy!! But this time round, I didn't need no prompting and comparing to get me started... I was on the job right from day 1! I actually realized the art of envying the right people and try to make myself better in that direction rather than losing all hope and tagging myself as a loser! And in Nupur I found a friend who helped me with my studies, helped me copy notes thanks to my switching over from a pathetic handwriting to a much better looking one which vaguely resembled the cursive, shared my passion of playing the keyboard a bit, and made life really wonderful! I envied Nupur for being not only all of her above mentioned qualities but also her qualities of being a modest person, not at all proud and selfish as people with the above mentioned qualifications tend to be, cheerful, helpful and most of all being a wonderful human-being! And I learnt a very valuable lesson: "Envying the right people isn't enough; You've gotta try and inherit the qualities of theirs which you envy!"
If the phrase "turning over a new leaf" meant something to my parents, I certainly gave new dimensions to it for them! From a pathetic student to the one of the top rankers in the class throughout the ninth standard (Shucks! Nupur managed to stay ahead of me!) was something my parents had never expected! That, my dear folks, was just the beginning! Tenth was also a superb class! Ended up envying a buddy, two years my senior, who got selected in the IIT-JEE the same year I passed out of the 10th standard! Again I tried to follow exactly in his footsteps during my two year IIT preperation stint and ended up as all my professors' best bet to get selected in the main of 2002! That, sadly was not to be! *Sighs! Just like the saying about aiming for the stars and ending up on the moon, I cleared all the exams except IIT-JEE! The senior I mentioned is at present leaving for the MIT, and obviously there's no way I can stop envying him! Hats off to you, Sir!
Reach a deserted area in one corner of the country to attend college! After being a topper for the last 4 years in school, I felt damn sure I'll do well atleast here! Finally no need to envy anyone for anything! Life has it's ways of playing it's cruel jokes! Trns out most of the batch is made up of toppers in their own perspective! And good bye good grades! And as you guessed right, Miss Envy is back in action setting her eye upon a good friend of mine in college who is exceptionally good in college studies! But try however I may, all my efforts are ruined in some or the other way thanks to some persuits (read CS, q3, orkuting) of mine!
The most important part of this post is not my highlighting all the people I have envied for their excellence in studies or academics! These were just provided to serve as an example of how single-minded and materialistic our desires are (don't take it personal! If this isn't the case with you, I salute you!!)! We tend to envy people for their looks, their clothes, their affluence, their knowledge, their skills, their good grades, their beautiful girl friends, etc. Big deal! Apart of envying people for all that, I have envied a friend I have known for the past three years for his simplicity, for his being able to be cool even under adverse circumstances, for his remarkable ability of being able to smile and laugh despite all the plethora of emotions exisiting in his mind! Never would you be able to guess that something is wrong with his childish attitude and silly grin proving to be a convincing façade ! I shall not name him for all the inconvinience that it might cause. All I can say is that if there is any such place as Hell, then he has gone through Hell unflinchingly, believe me, and has emerged unscathed! Many of us might crumble under the fear of facing situations as adverse as his experienes! Such a gem of a person is a rare find in today's world! You know who you are.... I bow down to you buddy!
Sorry for such a sentimental post... Couldn't be helped! I do get sentimental on occasions and today was one of those! Damn I hate getting misty-eyed *sniff!
When I was in the second standard, even before I was acquainted with the term jealousy, let alone envy, I remember my Mom taking great pains and teaching me Maths lessons late into the night and being the dullard that I was, I was never able to keep up with her pace! I still clearly remember the words that she used to utter out of frustration:
"How many times will I have to explain the same simple problem for you to understand it? See Elitriya (She was a kid in my neighbourhood, a year younger to me! Pathetic *Yuck). She always solves all her problems so fast and always tops in her class (which ofcourse was a rarity as far as I was concerned!). When will you change, Appu (Yup! That's my pet name 8)!)??"
That was probably one of the first instances when I realized that I desperately sought to be in other peoples' shoes! Be it for the cool school bags they possessed, for the lunch boxes they brought along to school, for their moms being simple housewives whom they could find at home each day after returning from school while my mom being a working woman and myself reaching home everyday to find the gates locked that I had to open, or for their good grades in school which seemed to impress my mom more than anything I had managed to score!
Probably most of my childhood was spent envying other children, most importantly my younger sister who's seven years younger to me! After being the apple of my parent's eyes for a long long time, all the love and attention suddenly being diverted to this queer little thing made me feel real lonely! How jealous I was at that time of my sibling, I know! It must've been way too obvious because I soon found myself being lectured by my parents about not to be jealous and that I'm still loved the same as before if not more! Yeah right you guys! Then why does it feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart and not loved anymore and only that... that thing is the center of your worlds?!
That phase passes! Somehow!! I'm in ninth standard! Till the eight, I was not at all interested in studies! The constant comparisions had finally taken their toll! I had lost all hope of excelling in studies! My parents were very bothered about me and my future! A chance encounter with one of my bestest friends till date ( The encounter not unlike the one about which I posted a couple of messages back was a really humorous one! I'll post about it in a week or so!), Nupur, was a new ray of hope! The girl is excellent in everything! She is an excellent student, has a brilliant handwriting (Mamamia! I'd die for such a beautiful way of writing!), has excellent elocutionary skills, and her dad worked in the same bank as my mom! Yeah I know! The ideal specimen for my mom to compare me with and the perfect person for me to envy!! But this time round, I didn't need no prompting and comparing to get me started... I was on the job right from day 1! I actually realized the art of envying the right people and try to make myself better in that direction rather than losing all hope and tagging myself as a loser! And in Nupur I found a friend who helped me with my studies, helped me copy notes thanks to my switching over from a pathetic handwriting to a much better looking one which vaguely resembled the cursive, shared my passion of playing the keyboard a bit, and made life really wonderful! I envied Nupur for being not only all of her above mentioned qualities but also her qualities of being a modest person, not at all proud and selfish as people with the above mentioned qualifications tend to be, cheerful, helpful and most of all being a wonderful human-being! And I learnt a very valuable lesson: "Envying the right people isn't enough; You've gotta try and inherit the qualities of theirs which you envy!"
If the phrase "turning over a new leaf" meant something to my parents, I certainly gave new dimensions to it for them! From a pathetic student to the one of the top rankers in the class throughout the ninth standard (Shucks! Nupur managed to stay ahead of me!) was something my parents had never expected! That, my dear folks, was just the beginning! Tenth was also a superb class! Ended up envying a buddy, two years my senior, who got selected in the IIT-JEE the same year I passed out of the 10th standard! Again I tried to follow exactly in his footsteps during my two year IIT preperation stint and ended up as all my professors' best bet to get selected in the main of 2002! That, sadly was not to be! *Sighs! Just like the saying about aiming for the stars and ending up on the moon, I cleared all the exams except IIT-JEE! The senior I mentioned is at present leaving for the MIT, and obviously there's no way I can stop envying him! Hats off to you, Sir!
Reach a deserted area in one corner of the country to attend college! After being a topper for the last 4 years in school, I felt damn sure I'll do well atleast here! Finally no need to envy anyone for anything! Life has it's ways of playing it's cruel jokes! Trns out most of the batch is made up of toppers in their own perspective! And good bye good grades! And as you guessed right, Miss Envy is back in action setting her eye upon a good friend of mine in college who is exceptionally good in college studies! But try however I may, all my efforts are ruined in some or the other way thanks to some persuits (read CS, q3, orkuting) of mine!
The most important part of this post is not my highlighting all the people I have envied for their excellence in studies or academics! These were just provided to serve as an example of how single-minded and materialistic our desires are (don't take it personal! If this isn't the case with you, I salute you!!)! We tend to envy people for their looks, their clothes, their affluence, their knowledge, their skills, their good grades, their beautiful girl friends, etc. Big deal! Apart of envying people for all that, I have envied a friend I have known for the past three years for his simplicity, for his being able to be cool even under adverse circumstances, for his remarkable ability of being able to smile and laugh despite all the plethora of emotions exisiting in his mind! Never would you be able to guess that something is wrong with his childish attitude and silly grin proving to be a convincing façade ! I shall not name him for all the inconvinience that it might cause. All I can say is that if there is any such place as Hell, then he has gone through Hell unflinchingly, believe me, and has emerged unscathed! Many of us might crumble under the fear of facing situations as adverse as his experienes! Such a gem of a person is a rare find in today's world! You know who you are.... I bow down to you buddy!
Sorry for such a sentimental post... Couldn't be helped! I do get sentimental on occasions and today was one of those! Damn I hate getting misty-eyed *sniff!
25 Comments:
Hey Steve! Nice post, and yeah, quite sniff* touching. Yeah there have been often a time I've turned green with envy too. The list can go on. You envy people right from those hwo have everything, down to those who are absolutely simple and have nothing to get by with. I guess everyone's got this peculiar quality which is far more superior to any others. I'm sure you've got something about you someone else envies too! Maybe you should go around asking some friends. For now, I envy your post! :D
hey thanks for visiting...heights of coincidence that my friend I wrote abt is from the same college as u are!! That apart, wonderful read...not jus ur blog...the ones u like to...
Do keep dropping by...
I envy ur blog :P
Hey, yeah, i can totally identify to the sibling envy, infact that went on for quite some time til ma bro n i became best buddies in arms (against ma parents!!!)....yeah, its sweeet!!! u write reallly well!!! AND a lot!!! lolz.......
Hey dude,
Such a nice post! ya, that friend of ours, he deserves special compliments for his excellent equanimity. May God bless him.
ANd you, have you ever realised that you yourself are an object of envy for a number of people around?
well great stuff mate..really a good read..
but say there's thin line b/w being envious and jealous...
envy the greats and respect them too ...
yup ! right.. i was just thinking about that. Envy is different from jealousy. You don't particularly care about the person you envy, no hard feelings as such. In fact you look up to them. Jealously is the other side of the coin. You tend to have ill-feelings for the person you are jealous of.
@divz
thanks!! and nice tip that! i can imagine myself roaming around asking ppl whether they envy me or not:D!
@ellie
thank you! and wow! what a coincidence! but i can't seem to associate the character,M, with any person at my college:O!
anyway, keep dropping by!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
@naresh
i'm outa words:P
@krisann
same's d case with me! my sis n i r best buddies even though we continue to fight like cats and dogs! gosh! i love that kid like hell:D!
@viki
thanks buddy!
hmmm... now the last line in ur comment made me feel good8)! but sincerely speaking, i can't boast of possessing much of the things that might make me an object of envy!
@isha
thatz me, miss;)
@anubhav
thanks a lot, dude!
yeah i know! that's why i envy these people rather than being jealous of them! ofcourse, i was a bit jealous of my sis at first...
anywayz being d typical scorpio that i am, jealousy and possessiveness are some of my unpopular traits
this post made a good read.
btw, i had a question for you: do you envy me? :P
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hey, really insightful post and path-brightening, so to say... :) Oh, I envy your being able to write up such loong posts.
@arpit
thanks mate! and sure! i envy u ... for various reasons;)! bet many ppl in coll envy the great dhari! what say ppl?!?!
@dc
you said it! i shall continue to envy ppl for a long, long time! and i do envy ur writing skills... forgot to mention that, and much more, in the already looong post!
and abt the latter part of ur comment... not fair! the previous comment of urs seemed quite fishy fishy:-P! i probably started deducing things! another blooper!
but cya in calcutta when i visit every year in december;-)!
@sudipta
thanks! and i hope there wasn't sarcasm involved in that "envying your ability to write loong posts" part :-D! sunno why i always seem to end up with loong n monotonous posts! and comments too for that matter;-)!
anyway, seems ur blog ain't opening up! some prob?? or is it my insti's firewall:-(?!
stevie...
confession time...
i envied the way you held ur pen...how on earth do you do that man!!!
hehehehehehehe
u r a gem man!
have fun...
@debanshu
roflol! now that cracked me up! so yup! i guess i am unique as far as holding the pen is concerned! i remember u trying n trying n giving up in d end when u cudn't emulate my way of holding d pen!
that brought back many good memories of d school days, buddy!
thanks
*bows to the supreme *
I envy ur skills
This comment has been removed by the author.
Even I bow to the friend of yours. God will have the best in store for him. My best wishes r always wid him.
My blog not opening up?? :(( Nahi... I don't post contraband on my blog and neither are there any links to porno sites... check again, buddy!
@shaan
welcome back!! where have u been?
and enuff of d leg-pullin:P
@dc
cal is really a cool place 2 celebrate christmas! been there almost every year since i was 2 yrs old:D! man i love d place! and according 2 my dad, we don't have any relatives there 2 pester us!
so d date is set for meeting d gr8 dc,huh;)?!
@bhavesh
roger that!
@sudipta
hehehe! i figured out d problem! d "chat" in ur surname seems 2 upset my college's firewall! so that's why ur page ain'topening up! just my luck:(! anything u can do abt it??
really a nice article!!
atleast it;s nice to speak your mind...
dwivedi!!
so u've been blogging too! nice 2 see u here, mate! keep dropping by
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